Clear Eyes
by Maryilee
Summary: There was so much more he wanted to tell the team. He wanted to tell them that he didn’t want to leave them. That time didn’t stand still and he had to march along with iteven when he didn’t want to go.Spoilers for State
1. Chapter 1

The characters don't belong to me. They belong to NBC/Universal and Imagine Entertainment.

A big thank you to Monstermoof4mee and JoeDude for their help in beta'ing this fic. :-)

* * *

"Clear eyes, full hearts…" Jason Street began. 

"Can't lose!" The team finished the slogan, their voices echoing in the confines of the locker room.

Eric stood with his hands on his hips; he could feel his eyes threatening to well up. He knew they were angry with him, and rightly so. Hell, he'd be angry at himself too. It made their slow clap for him even more poignant. He blinked hard and dropped his gaze to the floor. The clapping died down and an expectant hush settled over the room.

Eric raised his eyes, touching each player with his gaze. He cleared his throat. "Listen up. I just want to say thank you to y'all. It's been a helluva season." Lifting his cap, Eric ran a hand through his hair before continuing, "When the season began, everyone expected us to win. We were at top of all the lists. And then Jason Street went down." He met Jason's eyes; the young man returned his look with no hint of self-pity. "They scratched us off those lists. As if without our leader, we were done. Well, we may have lost our leader, but we didn't lose our heart. Each and every one of you worked and fought and never gave up. Y'all stepped up your game and came together as a team; a team that I was _proud_ to coach. It's been a privilege and an honor." His voice wavered, threatening to crack and Eric paused. He knew that after this, nothing would ever be the same again. He wished he could prolong the moment and some how burn it into his memory.

"I wish y'all the best of luck next year and I hope you'll give your new coach the same dedication and effort that y'all gave me. Thank you." With one last look at his team, Eric turned back towards his office. The players sat quietly for a moment before breaking into applause again. The sound chased him down the hallway as he fled into the darkened office. He shut the door, cutting of the sound of the applause. Eric sank into his chair and propped his elbows on the desk, his hands clasped behind his neck, massaging the tense muscles.

There was so much more he wanted to tell the team. He wanted to tell them that he didn't want to leave them. That time didn't stand still and he had to march along with it--even when he didn't want to go. This team would move on and if Eric passed up the opportunity to coach at the college level, a division one college no less, he might never get another chance.

In the days since their return from state, things had moved fast. After a couple of days of celebration including a parade and barbecue, he'd gone to Austin and signed his contract. Tami had accompanied him, and when she was at his side, he could allow his excitement to show for the first time. He had shown her the first rate training facilities and the university had helped them to find a nice two-bedroom town home to rent. It even had a small office off the master bedroom. Of course, Tami was already eyeing that for a nursery for the weekends when she, Julie and the baby would visit. Eric rubbed his eyes and swallowed the hard lump in his throat.

That was still a sore spot between them. He had been ready to stay in Dillon, coach the team, let Julie finish high school and enjoy the new baby. Eric didn't know how he would be able to leave his family for a week or two at a time. Especially the baby. Babies changed so quickly and his greatest fear was that he would become a stranger to his own child. Tami tried to assure him that it would never happen, but how could she know for sure?

Eric took a deep, shaky breath then opened his desk drawer and began sorting through its contents. Items he intended to keep, he tossed into a box. There wasn't much. He hadn't accumulated many mementos in the five months he had been coaching at Dillon. Standing, he began removing pictures from the shelves behind his desk. He held the team photo for a long time, studying the expressions on the kids' faces.

Smash wore his trademark cocky grin. Eric smiled. He had come to admire the running back. Steroid mistake aside, the player had given his all to the team and his play in the championship game had been nothing less than heroic. Eric couldn't even blame him for the racial discord that had swept over the team at the beginning of the playoffs. He was just glad that Smash had chosen to prove Mac wrong on the field. Eric knew that Smash Williams had a bright future ahead of him. Eric learned one of his most valuable lessons as a coach. That no matter how much a player might want to please the coach, he wouldn't play at his best until he played for the joy of the game.

Tim Riggins stood beside Smash in the photo. He glowered at the camera, his eyes half hidden by his long straggly hair. Eric hadn't really liked the guy at the beginning of the season, tolerating him only because he knew that Riggins was Street's best friend. Throughout the years, he'd seen Riggins from time to time. Sometimes the kid would hang out at the field while Eric coached Jason on the finer points of the quarterback position. He couldn't figure out why a kid like Street hung out with someone like Riggins. Sullen. That was the word that came to mind when he had first met the boy. Sullen and unkempt. Now he knew that Riggins wasn't sullen, he was scared. Scared to show any emotion, but so full of feeling that he sometimes couldn't hide it. After learning about Riggins home life, Eric felt ashamed about how he had judged the kid all these years.

This season had brought out the best and the worst in the fullback. Eric knew that there had been times when the guy had come to practice hung over. He should have kicked him off the team, but Jason had spoken up for his friend; begged Eric to give him another chance and so Eric had, but only after a punishing practice. To his surprise, Tim took the punishment without a word of protest. Like he knew he deserved it and even sought it out. When Riggins knew the limits, he tended to follow them. After the first few practices, Eric never assumed that Riggins knew the rules. Without trying to embarrass the boy, he quietly told him what he expected of him. The results had been worth it.

In the middle of the picture, standing tall and confident, stood Jason Street. Eric sat down at his desk chair. It had been a long time since he'd looked at this picture and seeing Jason standing hit him like sucker punch. The last time he could remember standing eye to eye with Street was just before the season opener when Jason had told him that Eric too, had earned the right to win. If anyone had the right to be bitter, it was Jason Street. Eric was sure that there had been moments when the kid had felt down. He knew that the whole Riggins and Lyla Garrity thing had hurt Jason deeply. He thought back to the time he had visited Jason at the rehab shortly after the affair became known. Street had tried to hide his anger and hurt as he whipped his chair around orange cones in the gym. The father in Eric wished he could take all the pain away, but he wasn't Jason's father and he couldn't erase the pain. Helpless, he had just tried to let Street know that he was there for him.

The day he had driven by the vacant field and spotted Jason coaching Saracen had been a revelation, and then seeing how well Matt had responded had made Eric ashamed of his own failures as a coach. He had pushed the guilt aside and made the job offer to Street, wishing he would have thought of it sooner. But maybe Street wouldn't have been ready sooner. The young man had needed to navigate his own way through the pain and rejection first by Lyla and then by the quad rugby team. He had grown stronger for it. Eric felt confident that Street was just beginning a great coaching career. If anyone could make lemonade out of lemons, it was Jason Street.

Eric's eyes scanned the picture, grimacing at Reyes' hard stare. He had tried so hard to believe in the boy, but in the end, the angry young man had burned his bridges by lying. Even Smash hadn't lied when confronted about his steroid use. Eric didn't have any use for liars, and for Reyes to push the blame onto the other boy was even more despicable. He skimmed over Reyes quickly, the whole memory leaving a bad taste in his mouth.

His eyes settled on Matt Saracen. The back-up quarterback was at the end of the second row, practically out of the picture. There was nothing in the photo that distinguished him from any other player. In fact, he tended to fade into the background. He was smaller and younger than most of the other players. Eric searched his mind and tried to remember what is was he had seen in the kind pre-season that prompted him to bring him up to the varsity level. He vaguely recalled watching the boy throw a couple of really deep passes. So deep, the receivers on the junior varsity couldn't get underneath them. The jv team already had a starting qb and the JV coach liked to run the ball. Eric recalled thinking that an arm like that would go to waste on the JV and maybe Saracen could help the varsity by tossing passes to the receivers during some catching drills. The other back-up quarterback had a mediocre arm and not much else. With nothing to lose, Eric had penciled Matt's name onto the varsity roster, shocking the hell out of Mac. He chuckled at the memory.

"Saracen? _Matt Saracen?_ What the hell is this, Eric?"

"I thought you could use him to drill the receivers when Jason is busy working with the line. The kid has a hell of an arm."

"He's too damn short to play quarterback!" Mac had stood with his hands on his hips, shaking his head in disgust.

"I didn't say he had to play. He's basically part of the practice team. But, hell, you're the offensive coordinator, if you don't want him, I'll cross him off the roster. He can go back to JV for all I care." Eric had flipped his pencil, about to erase Saracen's name when Mac interrupted.

"Wait. Leave him. We could use a strong arm during practice and my arm's getting too old to toss those deep routes."

Never in Eric's wildest dreams would he have thought Saracen would play a single game, let alone lead them to a State Championship. The fact that he did it under less than ideal circumstances only added to that accomplishment. The poor kid had so much on his plate, Eric didn't know how he found time for it all. He had to admire the gritty determination Saracen had shown throughout the season. He had learned the offense, dealt with an ailing grandmother and father fighting in Iraq and worked a part-time job on top of all that.

How he had time to spend with Julie, Eric never knew. The thought of Julie and Matt Saracen brought out mixed emotions in Eric. Of all the boys at Dillon High School, Saracen had to be the least threatening choice Julie could have made. Eric should be jumping for joy that Matt was the one his daughter liked. But Eric remembered only too well what it was like being a quarterback and the expectations that went with it. Those expectations were not limited to the plays on the field. He felt his face burn at the memories of high school parties he had attended. Female attention was one thing he hadn't lacked, and now he felt ashamed of how he had treated some of the girls. Oh, he hadn't meant to hurt any of them, but sometimes, all the attention was overwhelming and he would get caught up in it.

It had been almost a relief to meet Tami in college. He knew she'd never tolerate some of the stunts he had pulled in high school and he was glad for that. It had made him a better person. Julie was so young though. Would she demand the same respect that her mother had? Eric thought she would, but the protective instinct in him still battled with his desire to support Julie's wishes.

A knock on his office door startled him out of his reverie and he glanced at the clock, surprised to see nearly an hour had passed since he'd given his speech to the team. Through the partially opened blinds, he could see Matt Saracen standing outside his door. It was almost as if his thoughts had conjured the kid up. He figured the players had all left long ago. Eric put the team photo in his box and called out, "Come on in!"


	2. Chapter 2

Matt gripped the straps of the book bag slung over his shoulder, hiking the bag higher. Peering through the blinds, he could see Coach gazing at a photograph, a box parked at his feet. Open desk drawers and a trash can pulled close made it obvious what Coach was doing. He couldn't see the photo, but from the way Coach sat slumped back in his chair, and the pensive expression on his face, Matt felt like he was intruding. He should probably leave, but it was too late; he'd already knocked.

"Come on in."

Taking a deep breath, Matt entered the office.

"What can I do for you, son?"

Coach Taylor's voice held a friendly tone that Matt hadn't heard for months. He relaxed his grip on the strap and took a quick glance around the office. "You're cleaning out your desk?"

Coach's mouth set in a firm line before he said, "Wow, you are a master of the obvious, Saracen. A damned genius."

The change in tone caught Matt off guard and he stumbled over his next words, his face burning. "Uh, yeah. Sorry. I was just…uh, I just wanted to say thank you for everything you've done for me this year, Coach." Matt turned to leave. Why did he always feel like such a moron around Julie's dad?

"Hold up, Matt."

The desk chair creaked once before Matt heard the sound of cardboard sliding across the floor. He stopped and looked over his shoulder.

Coach stood with his hat in his hand while he ground the heel of the same hand against his brow. With a large sigh, he settled the cap back on his head. "I'm sorry about that. I've got no call to snap at you. This is just..."his voice trailed off and his shoulders slumped as he left the comment unfinished. He gestured to the chair beside the desk. "Have a seat."

Matt hesitated a moment before sitting, still wary of his coach's quicksilver mood changes. He scratched his cheek then looked down into the box. The team photo lay on top of a few other items. That was the picture Coach had been staring at so intently? He had sent his own team photo to his dad and hadn't seen it since. Matt bent to get a closer look. He thought he looked like a little kid in the picture. It seemed like it had been taken a lifetime ago.

Coach cleared his throat. "I was just looking at that and thinking about all the changes the team went through this season."

Matt nodded and began to reach for the photo but drew his hand back at the last second.

"That's okay. You can look at it, Saracen. I'm not gonna bite ya." Coach sat on the edge of his desk, one leg braced on the floor, his hands clasped loosely in front of him.

"My dad has mine. I sent it to him when he was in Iraq the first time," Matt said as he held the picture. He wondered what his dad had done with his. Maybe he had it hanging up somewhere, but Matt doubted it. He wasn't even sure that there was a place to hang it.

"You and your dad...is everything okay with that?"

Matt looked up to find Coach regarding him with that expression of his that seemed to pull information right out of a person's brain. It was unnerving, but at the same time, it felt good to know that someone cared enough to ask. "Uh, yeah. Everything's good, Coach. My dad writes to me, and I try to talk to him on the computer when I get a chance." He ducked his head in embarrassment when he remembered the public fight he'd had with his father after a game. Coach had supported him by trying to offer solutions or talk to Matt's dad, but he also had made it clear that he wouldn't tolerate Matt bad-mouthing his father. Something in Coach's voice when he had warned Matt not to make that mistake had caught Matt's attention. It had sounded like the voice of experience.

"How's your grandmother doing?" Coach picked up some papers on his desk as he spoke and sorted through them, tossing some in the trash and piling others beside him.

"She's fine." Matt smiled. "She had a great time at State. She rode down with Landry, Tyra Collette, her mom and sister."

Coach stopped leafing through the papers as that statement sunk in. His face cracked into a grin and he chuckled. "I bet that was quite a trip."

Matt picked at a mustard stain on his jeans. "Yeah. Landry says I owe him big time."

At that, Coach actually threw his head back and laughed. Matt grinned. He couldn't ever remember Coach being this easy going. Now was probably the best time to ask him about Julie staying in Dillon. "Uh, sir? Could I...um...talk to you about Julie for a second?"

Coach's smile fell off his face. He crossed his arms and nodded. "Sure, Saracen. Go ahead."

"It's just that, Julie really wants to stay here, in Dillon. She...she wants to stay at her friend Lois's house...and she thought maybe if I asked..." Matt stopped speaking as Coach's face hardened. He knew this was bad idea and had told Julie that, but she had countered with the argument that as QB1 of the state championship team, he would have more clout with her dad than she would.

"Listen up, Saracen. My family and the decisions on how and where we live don't involve you." Eyes narrowed, Coach continued, " In fact, you are the last person I want to discuss this with."

"Yes, sir. I realize that...I'm sorry. I just want Julie to be happy and--"

"And you think I don't? Is that what you're saying?" Coach stood, hands on his hips, glaring at Matt.

Matt gulped. "No, sir." He stood, and leaning back to avoid contact with Coach Taylor, he sidled towards the door. "I gotta go."

This time, Coach didn't stop him and Matt left.

Eric sighed as the door shut behind Matt. He was embarrassed to have lost his temper at Matt over a personal matter but it felt like he'd ridden a roller coaster of emotions the last few weeks and so much was bubbling around inside him, that he couldn't help lashing out. He sank down onto his desk chair, elbows propped up, his head in his hands. Part of the reason he'd snapped was because he couldn't help blaming Saracen for the break-up of his own family. If Julie and Matt had never started a relationship, his daughter would probably have gone along with the move like she always had before.

His personal life was spinning out of control even as he finally began achieving his professional dreams. How had this happened? It was as if the little town of Dillon had taken possession of his family and he didn't know how to get them back. And the baby complicated everything. He was thrilled beyond words at the prospect of another child and Tami was ecstatic, but they were both scared too. They hadn't even told Julie about the baby yet or that only Eric was moving to Austin. They wanted iron out all the details first and Tami wanted to wait until she was a little further along before letting Julie in on the pregnancy. After so many years of trying and then finally giving up, the miracle of this pregnancy was still sinking in. What if something happened and there was no baby after all? As hard as it was, they had both decided to wait another month before telling their daughter. Eric wondered if that was the right decision. He was tired of getting the cold shoulder from his daughter. When he walked in the room, she either left or totally ignored him. It hurt.

Eric shoved away from his desk and grabbed the box. He'd come back later for anything else, right now, he had to leave. He needed to go home and spend time with his family. The minutes and hours he had left with them were growing shorter and he wanted to make the most of every one of them.

* * *

Shifting the box to rest on his hip and balanced by his hand, Eric opened the front door. The house was quiet and dark. Puzzled, he flicked on the hall light and set the box down in the foyer.

"Hello?"

No answer. Tami's car was here so he figured she was home. He peeked in the kitchen, noting the empty stove top before turning down the hall to the bedrooms. Julie's door was closed but a light shone under it. It didn't surprise him that she hadn't come out to greet him. That was par for the course these days. He raised his hand to knock on her door to say hello, but let his hand drop without knocking. Why did he always have to make the first move? The hell with it, he thought as he marched down the hallway. Almost immediately he felt guilty for his behavior and made a mental note to greet Julie just as soon as he found his wife.

It didn't take long. Eric smiled when he opened the door to their bedroom. Tami was sound asleep and curled on her side, a light blanket tossed over her body. The room was lit by the bedside lamp and a magazine lay open beside her. Eric shed his jacket and shoes as quietly as possible and climbed in behind her, resting one arm gently over her waist. He closed his eyes with a sigh.

"Mmmm...sugar?" Tami rolled over and stretched. "What time is it?"

"Around six," Eric said, his eyes still closed.

Tami started to get up, but Eric tightened his arm around her. "Stay, babe." He nuzzled the back of her neck, drinking in her scent and the warm fuzzy softness against his lips. He wanted to store that scent and warmth for all the long lonely nights in Austin.

"I have to make dinner, Eric. I had no idea it was so late." But she made no move to get up, and instead, scooted herself backwards, getting closer.

"Forget about dinner. We can go to Applebee's in a little bit," he murmured as he raised himself and turned her head for a real kiss. His mouth claimed hers and all thoughts of dinner fled. His hand slid from her jaw down her neck and he felt her shiver, the reaction encouraging him. His hand dropped down to her breast, surprised that it was already feeling different than he was used to. It was larger and firmer and he vaguely remembered this fringe benefit from when Tami was pregnant with Julie.

"Hey, Mom, what's for din--Oh, god! Excuse me!"

Eric's head shot up in time to catch a glimpse of Julie's blond hair as she dashed down the hall. He flopped back with a groan.

Tami laughed. "Sorry, hon." Standing, she tossed the blanket at him. "Here, you might need this."

Eric shot her a sour look and batted the blanket away. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and said, "I guess I'll change my clothes. Tell your daughter to be ready to go to Applebee's in fifteen minutes. I'm starving."

"Julie, before you go to your room, your dad and I have a couple of things we need to discuss with you." Tami set her purse on the kitchen counter along with the Styrofoam box containing half of her dinner. Eric followed and sat on one of the stools and gave Tami a questioning look. Were they going to tell the baby news too? She nodded to his unspoken question.

Julie stopped suddenly and with a sigh, dropped her head back before swinging around and plopping down on the sofa. "Fine."

Tami came around the counter and sat beside Julie and draped one arm around her daughter's neck. Julie's eyes darted from her mother to Eric. "What's going on?"

"Well, you remember in Dallas, when you overheard your dad and I arguing and we told you it was something your dad and I had to work out, but that everything was fine?"

Julie nodded, her eyes wary. "Is something wrong?"

Tami smiled and smoothed a hand down Julie's face. "Nothing, sweetheart. Your dad and I have some wonderful news."

Eric smiled and caught Tami's eye, knowing she was remembering when she had broken the news to him on the balcony of the hotel room. That news had turned a horrible evening into one of the best of his life.

Sitting up straighter, Julie shot Eric a puzzled look. "What?"

Tami nodded at Eric so he took a deep breath and said, "You're gonna be a sister."

Julie was still for a long moment, staring at Eric as though he had spoken a foreign language, then her eyes shot to Tami's face. "No way!"

Tami grinned back. "It's true."

Julie jumped up and faced her mom. "But you guys are...like...too old!"

Eric watched the smile slip off his wife's face. "No, Julie, we're not too old. Plenty of people have babies at our age."

Julie turned to him, tears welling in her eyes. "I can't believe you're doing this to me! First, you tell me that we have to move to Austin, and now you embarrass me by getting pregnant!"

"We thought you'd be happy. You used to always ask for a little brother or sister." Tami stood and tried to approach Julie, but her daughter would have none of it and circled to one end of the sofa.

"Yeah, when I was _eight!_ I'm almost sixteen now! What am I going to tell my friends?" Julie crossed her arms and glared at Eric. "Oh, but wait, that's right! I won't have any friends because I'll be stuck in Austin babysitting a little brat all the time."

For the first time in his life, Eric wanted to strike his child. Couldn't she see what her words were doing to her mother? Tami had crossed to the fireplace, her back to the room. Eric's hands clenched and it took all of his willpower to restrain himself. He stood and approached Julie and he saw her step backwards. Stopping, he did his best to speak in a quiet voice. "You won't be 'stuck in Austin', because your mom insisted that you and she will remain here while I go alone. I'm sure that will make you real happy." Eric spun away from Julie, leaving her with her mouth gaping. He went to Tami and put his arm around her shoulders, giving her a gentle squeeze. "Shh...babe." He shot a glare back at Julie.

Julie dropped her head and scuffed her toe in the carpeting. "I...I'm sorry, Mom."

Tami took a deep, shuddering breath before turning to face Julie. "Sweetheart, I don't know if you were aware of this, but your dad and I have always wanted another child, but it just never happened for us."

Eric looked down at his feet, remembering all those years when Tami and he would get their hopes up. Hopes that would be dashed to smithereens every single month. After awhile, they tried to make light of it, but the pain never went away. Doctors had never found anything wrong, but everything they suggested came up empty.

Eric raised his head, meeting Julie's eyes and pointed at her. "I'm sorry you're not as excited as we are, but that is the_ last_ time I ever want to hear you talk about this baby as though it was something to be ashamed of, do you hear me?"


	3. Chapter 3

"Do you have everything, sugar?"

Eric tossed the last bag in the back of his vehicle and shut the hatch. "Yeah, that's about it."

The sun was just beginning to rise, and the neighborhood was quiet and peaceful. The house across the street still had Christmas lights flashing but their holiday cheer had fled with New Year's Day.

Tami stood with her hands jammed into her pockets. "So…I guess I won't see you for a few weeks." Furious blinking did little to prevent the tears from welling in her eyes. Why had she come up with such a stupid idea? It had sounded brilliant a month ago, but now that it was a reality, she wished she had never suggested it.

Eric crossed to her and took her in his arms. "Hey, it't not that long, hon, and I'll call you at least once a day…probably more often than that. And when I come back, we'll get to see the first ultrasound of the baby. Won't that be great?"

He pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. She sighed as his hands rubbed a path up and down her back and wished she could remain like this forever. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath. Irish Spring and aftershave; that was his scent. She decided that she would stand in the shower and smell that bar of soap every day and imagine that Eric was there with her. She almost giggled at the silly mental picture but a soft sob escaped instead.

"Shh…it's okay; we'll get through this, babe."

Tami nodded and wiped her eyes. She knew Eric hadn't been enthusiastic about leaving to take the job and that made his attempts at cheering her up especially touching.

She pulled back and put a hand to his cheek. "Why don't you come back inside for a cup of coffee before you leave?"

"No, that'll just make it harder." Eric looked away and Tami thought she saw moisture in his eyes before he blinked a few times.

"Well, you have to say good-bye to Julie anyway."

"Yeah." Eric nodded, his face grim. "I guess I'll have to wake her up."

Tami heard the hurt in his voice and her heart ached for him. Ever since they told Julie about the baby, conversations had been strained between Eric and their daughter. For some reason, Julie still acted angry at her dad, despite the fact that she would be staying in Dillon. Between the holidays and trying to tie up all the loose ends of getting Eric's living arrangements in Austin in order, they hadn't had a chance to talk with Julie about the baby. Tami hoped that once Eric was at TMU, she would have a good chance to iron things out with her daughter. Tami had a sneaking suspicion that part of Julie's anger stemmed from her own guilt that her dad had to go to Austin alone.

"No you don't, Dad; I'm already awake." Julie stepped outside, yawning. Her hair was tousled and she wore pink fuzzy pajamas with feet in the bottom that Tyra had given her for Christmas. Tami thought it was amusing that teenage girls wanted to look so grown up during the day, but at night, reverted back to their childhood sleepwear.

"Hey, hon." Eric smiled tentatively and opened his arms. "C'mere and give me a hug good-bye."

Julie stood still for a moment before flying into her dad's embrace. "I'm gonna miss you, Dad."

"Me too, Monkey Noodle." Eric cleared his throat, his arms wrapped around his daughter, holding her head to his shoulder.

Eric met Tami's gaze, sharing a smile before planting one last kiss on top of Julie's head and releasing her. "I gotta go." He moved over to Tami and clasped her close, whispering in her ear, "I love you."

Tami hugged him tight. "I love you too, Eric."

FNLFNLFNLFNLFNL

Eric reached out and adjusted the radio station as he lost one station and picked up another. Now that he was on his way, he couldn't help feeling a bit of excitement build inside him. He was now a college coach! He grinned and rubbed his hand against his mouth, leaving his elbow propped on the door windowsill. It was a dream come true. A dream that had been a long time in coming. Eric thought back to all the teams he had coached, beginning with a tiny rural highschool that only played eight man football. He had been fresh out of college and in addition to coaching the football team, he'd had to teach health class and driver's ed. After coaching the highschool kids, he would drive thirty miles to coach a pee-wee team in a nearby town. That had led to getting the offensive coordinator job at that highschool. The school was bigger than the last one, but not by much.

Julie had been an infant at the time and Eric still felt regret over having to miss so much time with her. A few parents had hired him to give private quarterback coaching to their boys, the lure of college scholarships beginning as early as third grade. It didn't pay much, but with a baby, they needed every penny they could scrape up. Tami had tried to find a teaching job, but they were few and far between with most schools looking for teachers with experience. When she could find the time, she tutored kids in reading and went back to school to get her master's degree. By the time Julie was in first grade, they had pretty much given up on ever having another child. Eric quit asking every month and Tami stopped mentioning little brothers and sisters for Julie.

Eric tried to remember if he had stayed at any school longer than three years before he moved onto a bigger highschool. The bigger schools offered higher pay, but demanded more of his time. In addition to coaching football, he sometimes was required to coach a spring sport, usually something like freshman baseball. Eric sighed, remembering how terrible those teams had been. He knew enough about baseball to get by, but he didn't study the sport. At least there hadn't been much pressure while coaching baseball, but he had always wished he could spend those extra hours with his family. Through it all, Tami and Julie rarely complained. Julie fell in love with books and Tami began picking up teaching jobs when they were available.

An exit sign for Austin caught Eric's attention, bringing him out of his reverie. Twenty minutes later, he pulled up at his new home away from home. Grabbing his bags out of the back, he entered the townhome and flicked on the lights. A chill passed through him and the first thing he did was head for the thermostat and turn up the heat. He slowly walked through the living room to the bedroom where he dropped his luggage. The townhome had come furnished, but the week before Eric and Tami had brought up some of Eric's personal items like his desk and computer. Tami had brought extra linens and had made up the bed.

He glanced around the room, noting a few framed pictures his wife had put on the dresser. Smiling, he crossed the room and picked up one of the frames. Tami and Julie grinned into the camera, and Eric remembered taking that picture while on a little vacation last June. They had gone to a little beach house along the Gulf Coast and stayed over a long weekend and had a wonderful time playing and lounging on the beach. Eric traced the freckles sprinkled across Julie's nose. She hated those little sun-kissed spots she had inherited from her mother, but Eric adored them. They gave her a carefree, innocent look. Tami had long ago quit thinking of her own freckles as ugly and just laughed when he teased her about them.

Eric set the photograph down with a sigh and headed for the kitchen. The fridge didn't have too much in it, but Tami had stocked the cupboard with some cans of soup and crackers. The freezer also held a cache of frozen dinners. He tried to decide which of his choices sounded appetizing, but neither did. His stomach rumbled and Eric decided to go out somewhere and grab a burger. Maybe he'd even eat it at the fast-food place. The house was just too quiet and the thought of coming back here and eating alone depressed the hell out of him. Of course, he would have to get used to it sooner or later, but tonight was too soon.

FNLFNLFNLFNLFNLFNL

"Loosen your grip a little bit. See?" Eric demonstrated by showing Jeff Spaulding, the freshman quarterback, the small space between his hand and the ball. "You don't want to squeeze the crap out of it, understand? When you relax your grip, you'll get more spin on the ball. Like this." Eric motioned for a nearby player to run out for a pass and zipped a perfect spiral to the young man. The receiver jogged back with the ball and tossed it to Eric.

"Now you try it, son," Eric said as he handed the ball over to the young quarterback. The starting quarterback had missed practice...again, and Eric was working with the third stringer. He didn't mind though. It reminded him of coaching Jason Street. This kid might not be as smooth as the first stringer, but Eric thought he had more love for the game. More heart. It made the extra time he spent working with Spaulding worth it.

The player let fly with a nice crisp pass and turned to Eric. "Like that?"

"Yeah! That's it!" Eric grinned and slapped Spaulding on the shoulder pads. "Now practice that at least fifty times so you get used to it." Motioning with his hand, Eric summoned three more freshman players over. "Listen up! I need y'all to run some basic routes for Spaulding here, let him practice his throw."

An hour later, Eric made his way back to the locker room. He thought practice had gone well, but wished he had more opportunity with the varsity quarterback. So far, he had only worked with him a handful of times. It made him wonder why they had bothered hiring him in the first place. Shrugging, he tried to push the thought aside. It wasn't like he made the decisions anyway. Eric was just another coach here. It surprised him how much he missed calling the shots, how many times he wanted to say something about what the head coach was doing, but had to bite back his own opinion. Unless they asked for it, they didn't want to hear it. No one ever warned him how hard it would be to give up the authority he had become accustomed to in Dillon.

Eric rubbed the back of his neck, trying to work out a kink. Maybe he would get to work with the starting quarterback more next week. At least, he sure hoped so. There was less than a month left before the beginning of the season and Eric still had some things he needed to work on with the guy. And then, once Tami had the baby, Eric would be on leave for a few weeks, and with Tami's due date coinciding with the first week of the season, he felt like he needed to get working with the player as soon as possible. Time was running out.

He entered his office, and grabbed his duffle bag out of the corner. What he needed was a quick shower and then he'd go out to eat somewhere. Somewhere where he could sit and relax, maybe read a newspaper. Eric let the cool water run over his body and felt around for his bottle of shampoo. He'd received some heavy ribbing from his fellow coaches when he had left the bottle in the shower stall one time. The flowery scent had inspired plenty of wisecracks when he would walk by and they would pretend to hit on him. But, it was Tami's shampoo and, well, he'd let them tease him all they wanted. He wasn't giving it up.

He rinsed, and shut off the water. His stomach rumbled and he wanted to hurry and eat. And then he'd go back to the the townhome and call Tami. See how she was doing. The last time Eric had been home, she had been really uncomfortable. He grinned, remembering her awkwardness when they had gone to bed. She'd been embarrassed about her increased girth, but he had loved it. The thought of a child--his child--growing inside of her was intoxicating. He'd held her close, feeling the swell of her belly, and marveling at the acrobatics of the unborn baby. He wondered how Tami ever got any sleep with the constant tattoo of kicks.

Eric dressed quickly, tossing his dirty clothes in his bag and hoped he'd remember to remove them this time. Last time, they had gotten so rank, they had practically fought their way out of the bag on their own. And he had brought it home like that. Tami had _not_ been amused. But then, not much was amusing her these days. This pregnancy was a lot harder on her than when she had been pregnant with Julie.

His brow furrowed, thinking about the stress he had sensed between she and Julie. Eric had barely even seen his daughter when he had been home. It seemed she was always out, either working her job at the pool or out with Matt and friends. When he did see her, she had been different. More distant. He felt like he was losing his little girl.

Stepping outside into the late afternoon heat, Eric ran a hand through his still wet hair. His cellphone rang and he thought about ignoring it. It was probably one of the other coaches looking to go out and have a beer. Eric had gone a few times, but it had made going back to the empty townhome even more difficult. By the third ring, he gave in and answered it. He could always make an excuse. His eyes widened when Julie's number flashed across the screen. He couldn't remember the last time his daughter had called him. He smiled.

"Hey, hon!" His grin faded. "Wait...slow down a sec. Yeah...her water broke? I'll be there on the next flight!"


End file.
